That fart, you know the one. You have a massive build up of gas, the feeling is uncomfortable, sometimes painful. It rips out of your bot bot hole at lightening speed, announcing its presence with a magnificent Brrrrrrrrr. You gasp at its impertinence with an involuntary peep and hole retraction. Almost as good as the big O, sometimes better.
Sweet relief, unless you are not alone. When in company you apologise, are ashamed, or leave the room in a poisonous haze. In public you peer around, panicked, scared that someone may have heard. Even worse, that they may have smelt the odorous emission wafting around your embarrassed person.
But you can’t run, there is no escape because your stench will follow you like a gleeful ghost with a flashing sign of confession.
Toot For Toot a Controversial Act of Expulsion
The desire to toot, to fart, to pass wind is something we have been taught to hide otherwise we endure the scathing looks of ire or disgust. And that is only with strangers. How many of you feel comfortable farting in front of your loved ones?
Okay, okay, I get it, some of those blasts are offensive, they clear a room, and have people grabbing for oxygen. Others make us question the health of the offending but, or even our own life choices like why are we herm and is leaving the house even safe anymore.
Others in serious situations, make us giggle when they sneak out like cheeky toots, and everyone struggles to keep a straight face. What about the ones we assume are silent but instead announce their escape with a trumpeting chorus.
We Live in Perpetual Bodily Shame
I have no answer for you. There was one person in my life that farting was okay in front of, hilarious even. Where we would laugh, and laugh and never shame each other for our back door shenanigans. She was my partner B for seven years and we shared so much, nothing was sacred. So refreshing.
But beyond that I have been as secretive as anyone else. I leave the room, and hold on until critical mass if that’s what it takes to not fart in front of anyone else. I guess I still care what people think and am horrified at the thought of being ridiculed. Remnants of bullying.
This train of thought emerged today when, after beans for dinner, I was able to to release the built up emissions with abandon, without shame. And it was glorious. I live alone and being myself in all ways is one of the joys of my own space, and farting randomly and fully is one of the most beautiful things.
It’s time to remove the shame, a farting revolution! Free the bot bot, allow it to be authentic! But then again, I hear that it is a niche kink and people pay for that shite.
pEAce Out