I Exist in the Space Between Moments: Dedicated to the Death of My Gall Bladder

In Experiences, Feelings, News, Thoughts by JayLeave a Comment

Life as I know it has changed whilst I looked the other way. No longer driven to save or conquer, all I can do right now is breathe.

I breathe in, I breathe out. No longer a simple movement but a clutch on life.

My cells are tingling, alive and called to attention. A flowing roll call that reveals that which is missing. We mourn the death of one of our own, we are fewer in attendance but not less. We move together to cover the loss and comfort our own.

We will do better my cells and I whisper to each other but first we focus on breathing in, breathing out until we can do more.

We move together to cover the loss; we adjust we stretch and sometimes fail with pain being a reminder of that gap. We gather to try again because in the light that almost returned my cells and I to the universal ether, we are all that we have.

We breathe in, we breathe out a cognitive force joined in fragile clothing.


It was meant to be simple, the removal of the troublesome gall bladder and attached rock, too large to be called a stone. Anything I cried inside to stop the pain that is tearing me apart. Only to find out it was gangrenous, and my body a ball of pus. A short while away from expiration if interference hadn’t been made.

A week of iv antibiotics, made complex by my hidden veins, each new insertion a new trauma of pain and hope so difficult and so many, inside I was child crying out for them to stop.

But for continued journey on earth i needed to endure so I breathed in and I breathed out.


A new journey begins, not the same. I have limited energy for anything as I recover so I hold my cells close as we gather and work together to breathe in and breathe out.

Everything else must wait until we can do more.

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