Going Through a break point used to scare me. I still don’t love them especially while in their midst, but learning to turn them around into positives in my life has stopped me wallowing in bitterness, and empowered me to grow on a personal level.
I am not the preaching my trauma made me stronger kinda person, that’s not it. What I am saying is that when I have reached my breaking points, I have made the choice to turn those tough times into an opportunity rather than allowing my own destruction.
Let me explain.
How It Starts
Flat on my face usually. I am your average coward and if I could avoid these insane situations I would. The Universe thinks differently. Has determined that I will benefit from being jettisoned from my comfort zones and into whatever shitty, dangerous or downright uncomfortable situation on today’s menu.
It usually takes a while until I am vertical again and its usually accompanied by considerable kicking and screaming, and verbal wailing, loudly muttered expletives. Then I take a breath and wonder what the shit do I do next.
How To Get It Moving
Rest. That’s what I said, rest is super important to alchemy. Pushing past exhaustion, past a break point is just dumb, UNLESS the situation isn’t safe and rest isn’t possible. When I am physically safe, I give myself a break and time to process what has happened.
Everything else can wait.
I feel the feels, whatever they are. Shock, rage, overwhelm, sadness, let that stuff out. I learned the hard way holding on to seem brave just hurts me. If you need to find a quiet space away from expectations and judgment.
Feelings look different on everyone, sometimes I’m super active to work it out, other times I freeze in place for days, and storytelling.
Where The Magic Happens
Allow the magic in your life. Move beyond barriers, walls, boxes, anything that keeps you trapped in ways of thinking and behaving that doesn’t serve you. After rest, I look for opportunity for myself to grow.
The choice is either that or wallow indefinitely, and that does not work for me. Absolutely take the time you need to rest and adjust. This is the what’s next phase that eventually arises, when you are ready to move in whichever way, it doesn’t have to be forward.
This is what I do for me. It seems simple, definitely isn’t, and not everybody can manage this for different reasons.
So what happens then?
What If You Cant Get Up?
I have been fortunate, I have always been able to get back up, sometimes it took years, sometimes I crawled first, what I am advocating has always taken every drop of sweat and molecule of energy that I have to succeed.
I acknowledge and understand folks that are broken by things and stay there, not able to see the light or what’s next, or even want a next. We are not all the same.
This is valid especially in a world that is not friendly to the average person. Where work is hard to find, money is scarce and the horrors and dangers where there used to be none are real.
I see you.
I do it mostly alone, that’s the way it is for me, one day I will address that, but today is not that day.
Here’s a Suggestion
Our sense of community is skewed, they are ruling with fear that separates us and moves us to obsess with looking after self. Understandable but not sustainable and never regenerative.
One of the things I now advocate for is remembering community. How we connect in person, and develop new ways of support that transcends the hatred they want us to feel for each other. Othering is out of control and halting its progress will change our world, working together.
What if we alchemize together, support each other at break point rather than trample those that fall beneath. Enable those that fall their ease, their rest, until they are ready to move. Collective energy (imagine if we joined together) is the power we have forgotten that we need to wake up and use now.
Call back, call on your energy collectively leave nobody behind.
pEace Out