Why Not Be Happy Here Where You Already Belong?

Belonging is subjective, a matter of perception, and measured according to personal preference. In my opinion. If you check the dictionary, the loose definition of belong is either “ownership” or “to be a member of.

For the sake of these rambling thoughts, we are exploring the member aspect of belong simply because it changed for me recently and I thought I would share.

Defining Belong For Me

Past versions of me had a limited idea of how to belong. I actually rejected the concept. Belonging meant fitting others perceptions of me, conforming to expectations of a society I’ve never understood. Boxes and fitting into them has never been my thing, though I would often complain of standing out and not feeling a part of community because of my differences.

The very differences I cultivated as my own, sorta.

It’s like the having cake and eating it too concept. Evolution has taken time, a lot of it. And on top of that it involves self reflection to deep levels, honest self evaluations, and a willingness to change. This was the tough part.

I will tell you that I am chameleon, interested in change, but up until recently I held onto outdated beliefs like a drowning rat. They were my safety and to let them go felt like losing myself.

And it was. But it was a self that no longer served me at all, instead it held me in place like the boxes I had rejected years ago.

Misunderstanding Neurodivergence Kept Me Othered

For a large percentage of my life I felt broken, once I learned about neurodivergence I understood there are are others like me. SOOOO many others. I was stunned, I cried, I was relieved, and became able to look at myself differently and see how beautiful I am.

For the first time, I felt a sense of belonging. Weird huh? It was during COVID, so not very long ago. I still have this sense not so much of belonging anymore, it’s more about being seen, understood and not mocked for my difference.

This is hard to explain to anyone who has never been in this position.

My New Perception Of Belonging

Belonging in many ways is a social construct. We are encouraged to join a religion, a group, a social group, a club, anything with shared values or interests (or perceived as such). I have always been so bad at this, it used to worry me but now I don’t care.

I read its about combatting social isolation, but this doesn’t gel for me either, maybe for others it does, but I never really feel alone.

Now I belong wherever I am, wherever I choose to be. I tread lightly with respect and curiosity when in places I wasn’t not raised. And laughter, love, warmth, and kindness. And listening to/actioning valuable feedback.

I am part of the universe, the energy that joins us all. We other ourselves, and other others, or I used to. Now I belong (and am happy) wherever I am. There is a purpose to all of it.

PeaCe OuT