Soft Life? Trust Funds? Everything done for them? I see women talking guidelines for dating men on their socials. He must pay if he initiates, women invest a lot in preparations like nails etc. this justifies men paying for dates and there is a range of more requirements. Men should pay for Ubers, should spoil their date, money is welcome, and it keeps going in this drift.
Don’t get me wrong I am a supporter of you do you, we are all allowed to set our boundaries, our expectations, and not accept less. My question is this, what happens when it’s two women in the partnership, how does it work then?
AND the reason I asked is that I have WLW queer relationships and am totally confused.
She Who Earns More
I did ask one partner about this, hoping for clarity, because it mostly fell on me to pay for everything. She said that it’s the one that earns more who should pay, seems like a fair point, on the surface. When I revealed that despite assumptions, she earned twice as much as me at the time – I freelance and it fluctuates.
Her response, you are a liar. She said that, I told the truth, obviously it was inconvenient, and the weight was always on my shoulders to provide. Not for everything, but for dates, meals unless I didn’t eat cos I couldn’t afford, even future travel and probably everything else. She had a seperate life it was long distance.
Maybe she forgot I was a woman, she forgot that I liked to be spoiled, experience the soft life too, without the worry of finding the cash to pay the bills. Feel the love.
Girlfriend Allowance
Another part of this that confuses me is this. I talked this with another partner but couldn’t get my head around it. If it’s fine with both partners, who cares. Personally when I date I am not interested in long term with an adult dependent, building a life with someone, for me is not one doing it all while the other coasts. Girlfriend allowance didn’t make sense to me.
With B in the Philippines, it was balanced, we were doing it together. When one needed something the other took up the slack, I think that’s what I am missing with this information overdrive. It seems strange that women expect the same from women partners that they do from men. Makes zero sense.
Don’t Treat Me Like I Am a Man
Some women, and it’s only some, treat women the same way they would treat a man they date. It’s difficult to explain to heterosexual folks how that presents but let me give you an example.
I met N online years ago during COVID. She was an attractive woman, we were similar in age, and she wanted to “try” women, because she had been unsuccessful with men. Red flag number one, I’m in it for love not as a lab experiment or because men have failed women.
Within minutes of us starting to talk, she sent me an explicit video of her playing with herself. I thought seriously? Not a turn on, I was embarrassed and deleted it once I saw what it was. Red flag two, three, and four. You see that’s how she would get men interested in her, apparently worked like a charm.
I tried to explain to her. Women are different (and I am not talking for everyone), we respond to different cues. I don’t know if she ever understood, she ended up back with men, rich ones were her preference.
Paying For Partners Bits & Bobs
Having said all this, I LOVE spoiling my partners, doing special things to ensure they feel seen, feel amazing, and know they are loved. I was always in 100% in all ways.
What I don’t get is that it seemed to be only me in these partnerships doing the spoiling. I am a woman too and love to be spoiled.
AND never again will I pay for a partners stabby stabby nails, if you love nails good for you and have them done for yourself. You are not doing them for me. I am neutral as to how they look, but as a queer person I prefer that my partners don’t wear lethal weapons attached to their hands.
It hurts. A LOT.
Peace oUt